Growing Up

For the past two days I have felt more "normal" than I have in months, nay, a year. I think part of the reason is I had a breakthrough in therapy wherein my therapist called me on my shit and made me face some realities that I didn't want to.

It can be very upsetting to be told you're acting immature, especially when you didn't realize what you were doing was immature, but was just the go-to response in crisis. I think I have been relying on fleeing when the going gets tough, and it's time to face up to that and learn to be an adult.

Adults solve problems, they don't run from them. Arguably I am facing my condition head on as an adult, but there are whiffs of "woe is me" that I need to nip in the bud. I am lucky to be where I am today and I am fortunate in my station in life, regardless of any diagnoses I may carry. They needn't be a burden; just obstacles or challenges that I face as an adult.

I do think I'm child like in some ways that are not destructive. I still love Hello Kitty and I'm not ashamed of saying it. But I need to watch that I don't infantalize myself. I am grown, I have children to take care of regardless of my issues or illness. I have the most serious job there is--parenting.

So maybe I'm feeling better because I'm growing up and learning not to give up.

Oh, and the days are getting longer. Viva el sol!